So, you didn't get a seat on the subway. There's no reason to cry, little dude! Look around! You see all those beautiful people standing? You're one of them! Look how tall you seem next to those seated around you! Why don't you tuck your blanket into your bag now, OK? It's OK to have a security blanket, but let's pull it out only when we really need it, all right? There you go, bud! Just think, the next time you get a seat on the subway, it's gonna be awesome!
. . .
You can't cut in line at Starbucks, chief, or you get yelled at. We've been over this. Take a deep breath, brocephus. That's it, just calm down for a sec. Wipe your eyes and reassess. OK, look around. Here you are at the back of the line, feeling a little humiliated. How many people do you count in front of you? Fifteen? Twenty? People like Starbucks, bro. Fact of life. And all these people deserve it just as much as you do. So you can't walk in and expect to go to the head of the line just because you're in a great mood after beating an elderly Asian woman to a seat on the subway. Be patient, bro. Count bald dudes or something. You'll have your pipin'-hot joe in no time.
Okay, going to catch this movie with my fourteen-year-old brother now. Hope there's no line.
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